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Primary School Finished!!

So I officially now have two children who are of Secondary School age! WOW!

 

I can’t believe Xavier has finished Primary Education! Here he is on his very first day!

Well when this day came we had no idea of the challenges we would face further down the line. We had no idea of the stress and heart ache. We knew absolutely nothing about Autism.

I think it was only a matter of weeks into Xaviers school life before I started getting called in to see the teachers after school because of his “behaviour”. It wasn’t so much naughty, it was “we’ve noticed this, we’ve noticed that” and they were growing increasingly concerned. They suggested a meeting with the schools SENCO. Someone had suggested there may be something wrong with him! My boy?? Theres nothing wrong with my son! I remember he had a few “odd” ways but just thought thats just him, I didn’t think anything more of it. We went to see the SENCO and was told she thought our son was showing lots of traits of having Aspergers Syndrome. She told us the school nurse would be in touch with details of a possible referral to our local child development centre. Again, we knew nothing about it. I went home and googled Aspergers. Well he ticked every box!

Lets cut a very long story short. We got a referral, he was assessed, we went back again 6 months later and he was diagnosed with Autism. By this time he was in Year 1. Very lucky to be diagnosed so quickly as I know of a few who have waited and are still waiting to be diagnosed YEARS down the line!

Looking back now I am very grateful to the Reception class teachers for picking up on this…and one TA who was with him in Year 1 on and off,  but thats as far as my thanks goes unfortunately. Xavier should have had LOTS of help put into place, instead I was told he was lazy and he couldn’t be bothered, he was shoved into a corner of the classroom with a screen around him so he couldn’t be distracted from doing his work, he missed playtimes because his work wasn’t done. He wasn’t refusing to do the work, he couldn’t do it…. he needed help and guidance. He was bullied and it wasn’t dealt with. The SENCO told me that now he had this diagnosis there are loads of jobs he won’t be able to do when he is older. Those words will stay with me for my whole life. How is that helpful? How is that productive? She also told me that they wouldn’t dream of applying for a Statement for him until he was in Year 6 and ready to go to secondary school.

It was time to pull him out of there. He left in the the December of Year 2.

I had such high hopes when he moved to the 2nd Mainstream school! I was so excited when a week in to him starting there they called me in and told me that they could see that Xavier has clearly very complex needs and they recognise that he needs help and they would start the Statement ball rolling ASAP! I actually cried!! I was so happy! FINALLY he will get the help he needs and the education he is entitled to! Yes!!!

No! It just didn’t happen! I was spun a web of lies for 2 years!! For 15 months I was told The statement process was underway, they just needed this evidence and that evidence and this report and that report before they could send it all off! It was the most frustrating time of my life. In the mean time Xavier was again, multiple times targeted by bullies, his mental health was impacted in a huge way, he kept threatening to kill himself, he was violent, he was aggressive and he was very very unhappy which was not in his nature at all. He wasn’t learning, he was just being left to his own devices in the classroom, he was given a different support staff every single day that he couldn’t deal with. Autistic children like routine and continuity. He couldn’t handle the amount of children in his class or the level of noise they make, he couldn’t handle the smell of lunchtime in the hall so ate lunch on his own in the office. The list is endless.

Then I was made aware of being able to apply for the statement myself! My god I wish I had known this earlier! I applied for him to be assessed with a 10 page report I had written myself and the assessment was agreed! That 1st process took 2 weeks! Fast forward 9 months and after weeks and weeks of stalking the postman, checking emails, making phone calls and generally annoying the life out of lots of professionals MY SON HAD A STATEMENT!!! I actually cried!! LOTS! I was very nearly broken from this ordeal!

Next hurdle was to get him into a Special Needs School as his ability to cope in a Mainstream setting was non existent.

The named school on the statement is the one the county council are saying he will continue his education in… the named school was the one he was currently in! No!! No way! I couldn’t let him carry on where he was! I had to appeal!

So I started the appeal process and contacted the Special Needs school we had visited previously. This was before he had a statement and they told us they would be able to help Xavier but they wouldn’t be able to take him on without a Statement. They said they’d have him happily but its whether the county would agree. The wait for that decision was a killer! ……. but I did it!! I won my appeal! Ecstatic doesn’t even come close! The phonetical I made to his then current school to tell them I would be removing him from the school, relieved so much stress and upset.

 

Xavier started his current school in April 2015, after the Easter holidays. The school and staff are INCREDIBLE! They care so much, they have taken my boy under their wings and the effects have changed our lives!! All of our lives! He is like a different boy! He is learning, thriving, flourishing, having fun, producing work, trying new things without hesitation, he has friends, he gets party invitations, he gets support, he is learning to swim, he has narrated the school Christmas play infant of a hall full of people! Just WOW! He’s so calm, he’s happy, he laughs all the time, we have no meltdowns, no violence …. nothing. None of the bad stuff! Its amazing and the staff are the ones I have to thank for that! This last year he has had a different teacher. They’ve had a great year, had lots of fun, I’ve been to parents evening and LOVED hearing how well he is doing and how he is progressing. He loves to help out at school. Its just so so great to hear all these positives after such a negative start to his education! He actually won the Year 6 prize for the whole academic year for his efforts! I am so incredibly proud of him! Here he is with his teacher receiving his award! What an amazing end to his Primary journey! He will be upstairs after the summer holidays to begin his Secondary journey!! I can’t wait to see whats in store for him!

Thank you so much for nurturing my boy. He has come so far and couldn’t have done it without you!

 

 

Spectrum Sunday
hol6

Bumbo Changing Pad Review

Bumbo got in touch with us to see if we wanted to do a review of their Changing Pad, obviously we were happy to oblige! These looked GREAT!

The Pad is comfortable and soft and it is contoured. The sides are raised too which helps when baby gets to that “I’m gonna roll over” stage! Another plus to help this stage is the strap to hold them in place which I think is a great idea! The strap is fully adjustable too!

The Changing Pad is also easy to clean which is always a bonus when it comes to Nappy changing time! Ha! The Joys of Boys…. I’ve been peed on many a time now! Compared to our normal plastic changing mat, when I laid Fraser down onto it, it wasn’t freezing cold. So he didn’t get grumpy!

He does love to wriggle about, does Fraser but I feel a lot more settled knowing he cannot go anywhere when on this pad! The higher sides and safety harness completely put my mind at ease. He isn’t quite at the rolling over stage just yet but we aren’t far off I’m sure!

 

This little boy hasn’t been a huge fan of Bum Change Time … (I’m not either particularly), but since we have been using the Bumbo Changing Pad it has been a tear free affair which is always a good thing!

 

 

I would say our thoughts on this product are a HUGE thumbs up!! Definitely recommended by us!

 

Pop over to Facebook and visit Bumbo UK

We were sent this item to review. All opinions are honest and our own!

 

 

 

 

 

hol6

Win 1 of 25 Scarves from HOTTER Shoes! Ends 25/07

Ok lets get back into the swing of things here!! We are back! Lets have a competition!

 

Hotter Shoes have given me the opportunity to give away 25 (!!!!) of their beautiful floral scarves!! Yes Twenty Five chances to win one! How exciting!!

 

Now these scarves are gorgeous! They can dress up a casual outfit or be a nice accessory to an already pretty outfit! They are worth £25 each!

 

Please follow the instructions in the Rafflecopter Widget below!

 

 

This competition is for UK only and prizes will be sent out directly from Hotter shoes! Winners will be notified after the closing date! Closing date is 25th July at 23.59pm.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

Good Luck!!!

hol6

A Mothers Love

My heart is fit to burst with love.

I remember when I was pregnant with Izabel I was excited but scared. Will I be a good Mum? Will I be able to do my very best for her? What if I don’t know what to do and fail as a Mum?

When she was born… wow! The love I felt for her instantly was incredible! Breath taking! I looked down at her tiny face and felt so proud that she was mine! That love is still there, as is the pride but now almost 15 years later it is so so much more. She is good a everything she does, she is kind, caring, loving, even if a little bit stroppy at times (wonder who she gets that from haha!) and she is the most beautiful girl in the whole world! These days I look up to her (she’s 6ft tall!) and feel overwhelmed with love and pride! She puts her all into everything. School, Sport, Art, being a good sister to her 2 little brothers, she helps me out when Ed is at work. She is so amazing with her baby brother, it makes me want to cry every time I see her with Fraser. She is a natural, she feeds and winds him, changes his nappy, makes him smile. Izzy is growing up into a mature, kind, and genuine lady who cares so much for others. There is a special love between us as Mum and Daughter, we are close, she can talk to me about anything and I hope that never changes.

 

Just over 3 years after Izzy was born, Xavier arrived into our lives! I had a boy! I worried that I wouldn’t be able to share the HUGE amount of love I had for Izzy, how could I possibly love another child as much as I love my girl? But again…. as soon as I looked into those tiny eyes I fell head over heels! My heart doubled in size with love! Izzy totally adored her little brother and was amazing from day 1! Xavier has had a tough time over his school years and I fought hard after his Autism diagnosis to get him in the right school, over 3 years it took me! We have had challenging times at home but I done so much research and really understood Xavier. I get him, I know how he works, I know his likes and dislikes. He is such a special boy! He is 11 and is hugely caring, polite and kind. I am so so very proud of all the achievements he has made so far in his life, big and small, each one is special as I know how hard some of them have been for him. He is so loving. When I was recently pregnant he looked out for me lots, was very interested in the baby, kissed my baby bump EVERY day. He was so excited about having a brother! He said he will teach him how to play computer games when he’s older! Haha! Now I was worried, sounds silly as Xavier was so excited about becoming a big brother but the idea of it whilst I was pregnant and then another little person actually being here are 2 very different things. I hoped it wouldn’t turn his world upside down when baby arrived and it hasn’t! Not at all! Xavier loves Fraser so much. I do think he finds him a little boring at the moment as at 9 weeks old, Fraser doesn’t really do much but he does love it when baby smiles at him. I’m so proud of him as he has been through a lot being in 2 mainstream schools and now his amazing Special Needs school. He has coped so well considering and has changed so much, he’s not angry anymore, he rarely kicks off, he’s calm, loving and so bloody clever it scares me! I have such high hopes for his future! He’s  such a gorgeous boy, I love him so very much.

 

Ed and I thought we were done doing our bit for the population!! Alas no! I was on the pill, had endometriosis and ovarian cysts over the years since I had Xavier. So last September when I found out I was pregnant it was such a shock!! A HUGE shock! I was worried as years and years previously we had discussed having one more child but Ed was happy with the 2 we had so wasn’t up for anymore. Obviously after 11 years I had come to terms with the fact that there would be no more and concentrated on bringing up the 2 we had the best we could. I was so worried about telling Ed he was going to be a Daddy again! He took it all in his stride after the initial shock. The kids were bouncing off the walls, they were so excited! Izzy cried and Xaviers eyes were a bit watery! It was such a lovely reaction! I had a terrible pregnancy that threw pretty much everything at me! I panicked that I’d forgotten everything as it had been so long since I had a baby, he is here now and I still feel like a first timer!! Its such a shock to the system after such a big gap! When Fraser was born, when I first set eyes on him I cried! He looked so much like Izzy when she was born! That was the 1st thing I said! “OMG he looks like Izzy!” My heart tripled in size…. bursting with love! Fraser is an absolute joy! Blowing my own trumpet here but Ed and I do make beautiful children! He has slept through 6-7 hours from about a week old. We are having issues with colic which is new to us but its all about research and learning. He’s such a good boy and so smiley and happy!

 

The older 2 absolutely adore him and it makes me so proud to call all 3 of these children mine! I am the luckiest Mother in the world and there is no love in the world like a Mothers Love!