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Goals – Day 7 – #Blogtober17

goals, life, writing

Day 7 of #Blogtober17 and todays prompt is Goals! I am so proud of myself for completing a week of this challenge so far, I really needed a kick up the bum for upping my game and I wanted to blog more often and this has really spurred me on to do so and I have found some fabulous other blogs to read in the process!

GOALS

I think most people have life goals. Life goals, a bucket list, things to do before you’re 40/50 etc. I don’t have a Bucket List as such but there are Goals I want to achieve in my life. I love writing and I want to make it my career. I want to earn a living from it. How many people can say that their job is something they adore and so they can do it for a living? Getting paid to do something you love… what an awesome thought. I really want to get into freelance work too and to carry on with blogging. If I can do that it will make me a very happy Lucie!

Other than work I do have other goals. I will list a few here:

1. Get a half sleeve tattoo. Something I have wanted now for many many years and I know it is something that will take a while but it is something I really want to achieve.

2. See more of America. I was lucky enough to win a trip to New York ten years ago and fell in love with it. I would definitely go back there but I would love to see more of the States.

3. To go to the Theatre. I have for many years longed to see a show in the West End. Never been but I will make this happen! Maybe for my 40th in 2 years.

4. To be a great mother ALWAYS and inspire my children. I messed up at school and hated it and really regret it now. I want my kids to do the best they possibly can at everything . I want to show them that hard work gets you places in life and that things you want don’t just fall in your lap. If you want it you have to work for it.,

5. To be successful. I want to be proud of myself. I want to achieve all these things and be proud that I worked my arse off to get them.

 

I think it is healthy to set yourself goals. It is great to have something to aim for or work towards. Focus is something I need in my life right now as I pull myself out of my PND. Positivity is key in this and keeping myself busy. I am excited for mine and my familys future and I haven’t felt that way in a very long time.

 

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hol6

Flowers – Day 6 – #Blogtober17

Day 6 in the #Blogtober Challenge is Flowers! If you’d like to catch up with the other posts you can read them here. I have loved this Blog Challenge so far. This is going to be a tough one to write.

Forget-Me-Nots

Forget-Me-Nots are the flower that represents Alzheimer’s.

dementia. alzheimers

Dad had been for various tests, memory tests, blood tests and an MRI and it was time to get the results. I went with Mum and Dad to this appointment. I kinda sat in the background and was taking a few notes as I’m sure these kind of appointments there is so much discussed that it can be a lot to take in for Mum and Dad. The Doctor went through another memory test with Dad whilst we were in this appointment. This was incredibly difficult to witness. There was an A4 sheet with lots of squares and in each square was a picture of an object or animal. I think one was a crown. Dad was thinking hard, he said “Oh, that is one of those things you put on your head if you’re really important.” WOW I was really shocked by that! Then she pointed at a picture of a squirrel. Dad looked deep in thought again, for ages…. then said “Sorry I don’t know”.

Swallowing back down the huge lump that had appeared in my throat and screaming at myself in my head to NOT CRY!!  She then gave him a pen and a bit of paper and told him to draw a clock face and put the hands at a certain time. He drew the circle but then wrote the numbers 1-12 all around the first half of the circle and then couldn’t set the time with the hands and said “I’m sorry I can’t do that”. At that point I realised how bad things were and my heart broke into a thousand tiny pieces. I had been pretty much oblivious up until then. He was then, that day, in June 2016, at the age of 67 years old, diagnosed with Alzheimers.  The doc said we shouldn’t really see much of a change in the first 2-3 years. Already in just over a year we have seen some quite big changes.

It’s scary and really bloody hard to see him changing. It is especially hard for my Mum.

I am in my heart of hearts petrified of what’s to come. Petrified.

We just need to all need to be there for each other as a family and deal with each day as it comes.

Forget-Me-Nots

forget me nots, dementia, family

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hol6

Day 5 – Education – #Blogtober17

Here we are on Day 5 of #Blogtober17 and todays prompt is Education. If you’d like to catch up with my other posts so far you can here.

education, autism, special needs

Back in the day… I was a bit of a rebel and didn’t really like school. My rubbish GCSE results reflected that. I really regret not knuckling down now.

When my son got a diagnosis of Autism I wanted to know everything there was to know about it. I bought books and googled lots but I wanted more. So I signed up with the open university and took part in a course called Understanding the Autism Spectrum. I loved it. It was so in-depth it confused the hell out of me at times, especially the part about how the brain works. I hasten to add I passed with flying colours! For the first time in many many years I was incredibly proud of myself!

A few years down the line I came across another course, this time a Diploma on Autism Awareness. That was a fairly quick course but still incredibly informative and interesting. I passed that too! 🙂

I really love learning now. Especially as I get to pick the things I learn about which is a big thing I think. At school (other than when you take your options) you don’t get to choose what you learn. A curriculum needs to be followed. I found most of it boring. I was an idiot!

Once Fraser is a bit bigger and I get a bit more time to myself I am going to learn more. I don’t know what subject yet but I want to learn more. I did set out to get an Open Degree with the open university but our finances just wouldn’t stretch to it. Plus I barely get time to scratch my backside these days so finding time to study would be impossible.

I might not have wanted to know when I was 15 years old but now I am eager to get those brain cells working again! I’m hurtling towards 40 years old and want to better my knowledge.

 

Did you further your Education after school or take part in any learning in adulthood?

 

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hol6

Date – Day 4 – #Blogtober17

 

Day 4 of #Blogtober17 and todays prompt is Date. You can read my other entries so far in the Blog challenge here.

 

 

marriage, date, date night

 

Please excuse the quality of the photo! This was mine and Eds first picture together I think. A couple of months into our relationship. Back in December 2001!!! Yes next week we have been together for sixteen years! Wow thats like… forever! 😀 We have had, like most people do, lots of ups and downs and lots of happy and sad times, lots of rows but here we are SIXTEEN years down the line…. still together, still in love and still going strong. We will be renewing our vows next year on our 10th Wedding Anniversary. I can’t wait!

Anyway back to the prompt in question…. DATE!

married, years, date night

I want to go on a DATE with my Husband. I cannot honestly remember the last time we did! In fact I don’t think we have ever been on one other than our first date which is when we got together! Before this year is out I want a Date Night with Ed. I think we need some us time. Some uninterrupted adult conversation without CBeebies or Disney Junior blaring in the background. Without having to make a bottle. Without having to tell the older two kids to stop arguing. I long for some me and Hubby time. Him not at work, me not surrounded by kids or pots and pans or piles of washing.

I want to walk along with him and hold his hand. I want to look into his eyes over  dinner table and have proper conversations. I want to snuggle up next to him and watch a film.

I love this man so very much!!

 

So Edward!! Where we going on our date?? x

 

 

 

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hol6

Car – Day 3 – #Blogtober17

So here we are, Day 3 of #Blogtober17  and todays prompt is Car! Yesterdays was Babies and the day before was All about Me!

volkswagen, bug, beetle

Beep Beep!

I got my provisional driving licence at the age of 17. I was working but didn’t have a huge wage so couldn’t afford regular driving lessons. My boyfriend at the time drove a VW Beetle! I loved it! It was such a beautiful car! I loved it more than him without a doubt. That relationship didn’t last but my love for old Volkswagens did.

I made lots of friends through this scene and we used to go away for long weekends to VW Festival type things at Santa Pod Raceway once a year. Roughing it in a tent, dancing, booze and beautiful cars! Awesome!

I needed a Beetle! I had to have one. I had to pass my driving test! When I did have them I did love my driving lessons. I had and failed FOUR… yes FOUR driving tests! I felt confident driving, I knew I was ready for my tests but as soon as my instructor got out of the car and an examiner got in I went to pieces. I was sick beforehand I was that nervous. A complete mess!

 

VW, Vintage, driving,

So somewhere along the line in-between all these failed driving tests I actually bought my first car! The car I had wanted! I bought myself a VW Rustbucket… sorry I mean Beetle! 😀 It was a grass green colour with a double bright yellow racing stripe going all the way from the deck lid all the way over the roof and down the bonnet. Not forgetting the rust patches! HAHA! I loved it with all my heart! I even had a nodding Shaun the Sheep on the parcel shelf. It didn’t break down on me once. It was awesome! My 1970 Beetle.

 

So on the 23rd May 2000 on my FIFTH attempt … I PASSED!!! YAY! I was now free to drive my awesome car around wherever and whenever I liked! I was ecstatic. I have so many fond memories of my time with that car. I have some scary ones too… like the time I drove down to Brighton in torrential rain and my windscreen wipers were about as fast as a snail on a go slow! I couldn’t see past the end of the bonnet and it was dark! It was scary scary stuff!

 

Camper Van, bus

 

I’d love another beetle although I think more appropriate these days with my little tribe in tow would be another one of my loves from the VW family! A split screen camper van! I’m not sure my kids would approve but I would love us to have one of these. My current car is more “practical” … a Vauxhall Mum Bus!! (Zafira) … so for now I will be practical and sensible Mum! I have had my licence 17 years and NEVER been pulled over, caught speeding, been in an accident (touch wood) or anything and I am really proud of that. I am the driver as Ed doesn’t drive. I have even driven to France twice!

 

What was your first car?

 

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hol6

Babies – Day 2 – #Blogtober17

So the second day prompt for #Blogtober17 is Babies!! I have read so many fab posts from bloggers on day 1 they have inspired me with a different format this time. I’m going to do an A-Z list all about my babies!

 

age gap, siblings, family

 

A is for Age Gap! 

My children are almost 15, 11 and 5 months! Haha! Number 3 was not planned, in fact we thought we had done our bit for the population after our oldest two! I was on the pill and Fraser was a HUGE shock to us but we are besotted with him and cannot imagine our lives without him. He has completed our family. (He really has!! Hubby has now been snipped! HAHA!)

B is for Bump!

When pregnant the last time, with Fraser… I was HUGE!!!! I had a bump to beat most bumps! I had extra fluid too which they were keeping an eye on. I am so glad Fraser decided enough was enough at 38+4 because I cannot imagine what size I would have been if I had reached my due date or even (god forbid) gone over!!

C is for C-Section!

My first two kids were normal vaginal deliveries. Due to many medical issues this time (probably cos I was so old this time around) I had to have a C-Section. I am glad I got to experience it in a way but WOW… nothing can prepare you for the recovery from that. You really do have to take it easy. The staff were fantastic and talked me through everything they were doing. Five months on and my scar has healed pretty neatly.

D is for Due Dates!

Something I have never reached with any of my pregnancies!! All of my children came early. Not prematurely though, just early.  Izzy was 2 weeks early, Xavier was 2 and a half weeks early and Fraser was a week and a half early! So I never experienced the going over due thing and to be quite frank I am happy with that!

E is for Edward!

My husband! HE was my absolute rock through the last pregnancy! He obviously helped in creating these beauties too! 😉 I suffered terribly with just about everything! He was my hero and helped me out so much and then again when I was recovering! He would not let me lift a finger! He’s a keeper that one! 😉

baby boy, second son,

F is for Fraser!

Our second son, our last child, our baby boy! He is 5 months, and an absolute gem! He was 8lb 3oz born and now weighs 19b 3oz. A proper chunky Monkey! He currently has two teeth breaking through so is not always a happy chappy shall we say? But waking up to this little face every morning is just a dream. He is so cute!

cute, five months old, baby

G is for Gestational Diabetes!

Another ailment I was blessed with in my 3rd pregnancy! Only literally found out a week before Fraser was born so was told to just control my diet. It was too late in the day for medication to control it.

H is for High Risk Pregnancy!

Unfortunately this was me the 3rd time around. I had so much going on that they put me as high risk!! Quite scary initially but I have to say I was well looked after and my consultant was the best! She was awesome! There was ONE bonus to being High Risk! I got extra scans so I got to see Fraser 4 extra times.

 

daughter, oldest child, baby girl

I is for Izabel!

Our oldest! Our beautiful girl! Only girl! Izabel Thea! The one who made us parents for the first time! We are so proud of this beauty! Almost 15! Where in the hell did that go?!! From this cheeky Bubba to a 6ft tall stunner! Currently in her GCSE year 10 at school and working hard. This girl has so many talents. She is going to go so far in life! She may be a stroppy teen but generally she is a good girl and no trouble! Couldn’t ask for more really.

stunning daughter,

J is for Jaundice!

Fraser was kept an eye on as he had this when he was born. It only lasted about a week and he was right as rain. Another thing I had not experienced with my first 2 children! I felt like a complete newbie this time around… A) because it had been so bloody long lol and B) because all these things were new to me! Never had come across them before. Was a huge learning curve.

K is for Kisses!

Be it a kiss on the forehead from the older two or being covered in dribble by the baby! Who doesn’t love kisses from their little people?!

L is for Love!

The amount of love Izzy and Xavier show to their baby brother just melts my heart! Izzy is a complete natural and very hands on with him. I know Xavier was excited from the day we announced I was pregnant, but there is the idea of a baby and then the reality of it once he was here. I did in the back of my mind wonder if he would cope. He has coped really well. Especially as we have had a reflex and colicky baby so have had lots and lots of screaming.

M is for Motherhood!

The hardest, most tiring but most rewarding job in the world! I still can’t quite believe I’ve managed this for almost 15 years! I still can’t quite believe I have 3 children! I am incredibly blessed!

N is for Nail Clippers!

Probably one of the scariest tools you have to use in early motherhood! Cutting a small babys nails is a frightening job!! Maybe its just me lol! My tip: Do it after a bath when they are zonked!

O is for Ouch!

The period pains after a 3rd child! OUCH really is the only word. Well …without swearing!

 

P is for Poop!

The subject of many Mums conversations haha! Only had a couple of “Poonami” moments so far! Don’t you just love it when it explodes out of all sides of the nappy including up the back! The worst part of parenthood! Poop!

Q is for QUICK Birth!

This was me with my first baby!! I had a 20 minute Labour and delivery! The midwife was as shocked as me I think! Ed and my Mum missed it all by about 10 minutes! Remember that so vividly like it happened yesterday! She obviously couldn’t wait!

R is for Rh-Negative!

I have rhesus negative blood so I have had to have injections in all my pregnancies. I am used to being a pin cushion now! Needles don’t bother me.

S is for Sickness!

Oh my god!! I had it easy with my first 2 pregnancies! Not so much the third time around!! So so ill! When I wasn’t actually toilet hugging I was feeling horribly sick. I could hardly eat anything at the beginning and lost almost 2 stone. Unfortunately I put that back on plus another couple once the sickness had passed!

T is for Teething!

ARGH!!! Fraser is teething terribly at the moment. We are all drowning in dribble!! I’m sure the older two didn’t suffer like this! He is just cutting his first TWO teeth! Poor boy is having a hard time. I cannot wait for them to be through to give him a bit of relief!

U is for Ultrasound!

Such an exciting experience to see your baby on a screen whilst they are growing in your tummy!! I am in constant awe of the technology that allows this to happen. We didn’t find out the sex of our first and I was convinced I was having a boy! How wrong was I!? Haha! We did find out with the boys though. It was a beautiful moment when we found out the sex of Fraser and the monographer allowed Izzy and Xavier into the room when she revealed the sex.

V is for Vaccinations! 

Something that all of my children have had and will have. I would never risk my children health by not giving them their vaccinations. I am however a big fat wimp! I took Fraser for his first vaccinations and was traumatised so Ed took him for his next 2 lots! I honestly couldn’t face it. No more now until he is a year old! Thank goodness.

W is for Weaning!

Izzy wasn’t a fan of food when we first weaned her. It was however a very different story with Xavier! He would scream the place down when the food had finished! Fraser I started weaning a few weeks ago but I think I may have jumped the gun and done it a little too soon. The doctor we saw at his hospital appointment just over a week ago told us to try again in a week or so. So this week at some point I will try again. Wish us luck!

middle child, autism, son

X is for Xavier!

Our middle child! Our oldest boy! Our little genius! Xavier has had a diagnosis of Autism since just before his 6th Birthday. He is almost 12. He is so clever it is really quite frightening. He is a sponge and soaks up so much information. Xavier is in the Secondary part of his Special Needs School now and is thriving! He is doing so so well! We are so proud of him. He loves Youtube and his iPad. So long as theres wifi … we have a happy boy!

SEN, special needs

Y is for Years!

As soon as you become a parent the years FLY! Time has passed so quickly! Izzy almost 15??! Xavier in Secondary education ??? Fraser 5 months old already??! I feel so old LOL!

Z is for Zzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Something I need a hell of a lot more of! Fraser sleeps through the night but unfortunately my sleeping pattern is crap!! Soooooo Tired!!!! Zzzzzz

hol6

All About Me – Day 1- #Blogtober17

This month I am joining in on a blog challenge! Blogtober 2017. I will blog every day for a whole month! Today is Day 1 and the subject is “All About Me”.

So here goes!!

blogtober17, all about me

I am Lucie, a 38 year old mother of 3 and Wife to Ed! Married for 9 years… together for almost 16 years!!  We live in West Sussex. My beautiful children are Izzy, almost 15, Xavier is 11 and Fraser is 5 months old.

I am 2nd oldest of 4 girls! Yes! Three sisters! It was MURDER growing up haha! Mum & Dad have been married for 42 years.  Dad sadly has been diagnosed with Alzheimers so very tough times ahead for all of us. This makes me so so sad.

I started writing my blog 4 and a half years ago when I was going through struggles with the education system with Xavier who is Autistic. After two mainstream schools failed him he is now in the most amazing Special Needs School and thriving. I love writing. I really wish I had discovered Blogging sooner! There is the most amazing community of people that comes with the blogging world! So friendly and helpful. I have made lots of friends through this too and met some real lovely people.

 

Other things I love to do…. enter competitions! I have been a little slack lately but this has been my hobby for almost 12 years now! I have won some amazing prizes in that time. A trip to New York in 2007 and a trip to Dubai in 2012 are by far my two best ever wins! Just incredible! I have won so many lovely things that I have been able to gift to family and friends that I wouldn’t be able to afford. Cameras, mobiles, iPads, toys, vouchers, an american fridge freezer, microwave… the list really is endless. I also got the chance to meet David Beckham 7 years ago through competitions! A fellow comper won the chance but couldn’t go so let me go instead! I was beside myself. Very beautiful and very lovely man! Below is Ed and I in New York on our prize trip!

New York, competition, winner

I also love football!! My daughter does too! She played league football for 6 years but sadly at the end of last season her team folded so I am now lost on Sundays. I used to love watching her play. We are the football fans and the males in the house aren’t fussed! Not sure about Fraser yet! Hopefully he will be a footballer.

 

I love my family, I love to cook, I love reading books but I don’t seem to have the time to do that anymore. Same with drawing. I used to do a lot of that but don’t have spare time these days! Haha! The joys of motherhood! Something else I really enjoy is listening to music. I don’t do it often enough. It is so therapeutic.

 

all about me, blog challenge, family,

 

I will openly admit to suffering from Depression on and off for most of my adult life. I’m currently on a bit of a downwards spiral with Post Natal Depression but fighting it hard. Writing this blog helps me so much. Writing in general I find a massive help, it is a great release. It should be spoken about and not be a taboo subject.

 

So this is me! Mum, cook, cleaner, cuddler, wifey, daughter, sister, referee, taxi service, slightly crazy, life loving, blog writing Lucie!

 

#Blogtober17