……that really mean so much!
Since Xavier joined his amazing new school in April his confidence has grown greatly! It really blows me away. It may only be little things to most people but they are huge to me. He can do up the buttons on his polo shirt…. he can put on his own socks… he eats ham… he actually asked me if he could try a pistachio nut the other day. He is wanting to try new things. This evening I had sweet potato for the first time and he tried a bit and didn’t like it but he just ate it and didn’t run to the bin to spit it out. He is becoming more independent with going to the toilet at home. Yes, he is almost 10 years old but he has dyspraxia which affects his motor skills. He has sensory issues too and his toileting issues have been apparent for many years now. He came home from school last week with a Star of The Week certificate for “talking to an adult when he gets angry or frustrated”. I am so incredibly proud of him!
I have been (still am) really unwell lately with my mental health and other things… too many to list here and the last thing I want to do is bore you haha! Izabel has been offering to do little chores for me at home to take the strain off. I think she sees that I am struggling and is being very grown up and really helping me out. Again it may only be little things like loading or unloading the dishwasher or feeding the cats but it all helps. I cannot believe she will be 13 in a matter of weeks! How on earth am I a mother to a teenager? Where did those years go? She is a good girl, despite her usual hormonal strops and I am incredibly proud of her too! She is growing up to be a very beautiful, kind and caring young lady.
Never take the “little things” for granted. I certainly won’t!
Yesterday, with no warning at all, saw me called into school to meet with the Educational Psychologist. This is another good step in the right direction in getting Xavier a Statement. The meeting lasted 90 minutes. I was asked what my concerns were. Well my biggest concern was the fact that I have been told by school that my son isn’t really learning anything. Now school are trying to deny they ever said that and said Xavier is unable to work independently, he needs adult assistance at all time otherwise he becomes incredibly anxious, frustrated and unable to cope. When supervised though he is actually producing little bits of work. These bits of work are not on a par with his peers and apparently the school has completely adapted the national curriculum so much to fit his work in, so much so that it is barely on the curriculum. So all this time I have been given the impression that next to nothing is being produced, then yesterday the SENco had FOUR work books full of work on her desk! Most of it is scribed by his 1-1 worker. His handwriting is very behind and the EP was basically (if you’ll pardon the pun) writing off his handwriting and saying computers are the way forward for him and she is completely dumbfounded by the level of computer skills Xavier has.
She asked about his behaviour at home! So I filled her in with the good and bad stuff. Generally at weekends and holidays he is the calmest person you’ll meet. After school and on Sunday nights he is the most uptight, anxious, angry, aggressive and violent person you’ll meet! Which says to me that school bothers him! He is being picked on at least once a week by nasty kids.
The Educational Psychologist was also trying her best to persuade me to NOT send him to a Special Needs School and to keep him in Mainstream. Her reasons being he is too clever and it will bring him down and he will pick up behaviours from other Autistic children and it could become a problem! REALLY? Well firstly I know my son is clever… shame the staff who work with him are not fully trained to bring out the best in him and help him reach his full potential. Secondly I have had a number a talks with the Head of the Special Needs school I would like him to go to and I’m sure he would be telling me that Xavier is “too clever” for his school rather than telling me that he looks forward to taking Xavier under his wing and helping him progress! Thirdly, I wouldn’t want him picking up some of the behaviour of the kids in his Mainstream school if I am brutally honest!
Then there was a little knock on the office door… I looked round and there was Xavier with his big wide chocolate brown eyes grinning and waving at me. I do love this boy so very very much. I called him in and we had such a huge cuddle! I asked him how his day was going. He said “Yeah, it’s ok Mum! Can I stay with you in here?” when I explained that we needed to finish talking then the EP lady will be talking to him afterwards and that they were going to play a game, he got all upset and was stuck to me like a limpet! I dried his tears and told him he only had 1 hour left and I would be coming to collect him. He reluctantly accepted it and we finished off the meeting.
I asked the EP what she thought Xaviers chances were for getting this Statement and she said that in her opinion it is very likely seeing as the process has come this far. Normally they turn people away right at the beginning if they don’t feel there is a strong enough case. I actually had to hold it together at that point and wanted to cry (with joy!) but I really don’t want to get excited until I have that piece of paper in my hand.
We are again another step closer… I am so very exhausted but I know that this HUGE almost 3 year long in total, battle is going to be worth it.