Today…. it really is! Today I cannot win at parenting. I feel like its all out of my control. That makes me feel shit.
I really am not one for making out my life is perfect. It is far from being doused in the smell of roses!! I generally am a happy person, very laid back and quite care free. But today I do care, today I am not feeling laid back…. today feels like a huge pus filled zit on the arse of parenting!
My poor baby boy is very unsettled indeed with his colic and reflux issues and no amount of Mummy love or cuddles is settling or comforting him. All I want to do is help him and take his pain away but today is not letting that happen. I long for the day that he grows out of this. It is not an inconvenience at all…. I just want him to not suffer. I just want to not witness him bright red in the face screaming the house down and not being able to help him. I hate it! I hate Colic and Reflux!
My older 2 kids seem to have found a whole load of hate for each other. They have always been so close! It breaks my heart. It is such petty crap they argue over too. They literally cannot be in the same room as each other for longer than 2 minutes before all hell breaks loose! I hate it!! What has happened to their relationship?! I cannot win at that either. I do not take sides, I tell them both they are as bad as each other which they are and I get accused of taking sides. I get accused of like the other more than them. I am wrong because I’m not backing either of them. If they had valid arguments then I would but “Mum…. he/she breathed in my direction” is not valid. It’s ridiculous. I am sick of listening to it and I just want them to get along. Having to tell 2 of my children that if they can’t stand each other then don’t communicate or go near each other is AWFUL. Its awful because I have seen these two be so close, have so much fun, laugh together. Where did it all go so wrong? It’s daily! I hate it!!
So today is pants quite frankly! I feel like a rubbish mother because I can’t control these crappy things that are going on! How do I make things better? How do I get them to like each other again?
Bring on tomorrow!! Tomorrow is a new day!